The Last Mix-Tape I Made (89 Minute Running Time On A C90 Cassette) And What I Had To Say About It

Side A

1) Teen Dream - *Slip-Slide (Extended Remix)* Teen Dream are underrated by many, long forgotten by many more, and never remembered or heard of by many many more than that. This doesn't have to be the case though. They had some fine 12 inch singles that are well worth the dollar you will pay for them. "Slip-Slide" in particular benefits from the ace R&B disco dance teen-pop remix machine. A fine song made finer. Where are Teen Dream now? They are undoubtedly somewhere.

2) Gangsters Of House - *Let's Play House (The Remix)* Jack Mix on Obscure Records by Farley Jackmaster Funk & Mickey Mixin' Oliver. If I had to do it over again, I would have taped the instrumental instead. The music is jackalicious to be sure, but the perfunctory jackin' exhortations, while never ruining a good track, aren't really needed (by me!) unless you are having a really hard time getting properly motivated to jack.

3) The Brat Pack - *So Many Ways (Do It Properly II - The Wild Style Dub)* This track is fucking intense. Fucking. Intense. Lemme say that one more time: It's fucking intense. Cole & Clivilles attempt to reach the godly heights of their original anthem and while that's all fine and good and good luck to them, this freestyle slice & dice courtesy of the godly Chep Nunez and Luie Rivera blows everybody out of the water. I probably peaked too soon. It shouldn't be the 3rd track on a mix-tape Oh well. By the time the bongos come in at around 6/7 minutes and the little kid sez: "If You're good you'll live forever, and if you're bad you'll die when you die" you will be ready for the emergency room.

4) Princesa - *Nasty Girl (Sky's Underground Mix)* This is one of my fave rap/club hybrids courtesy of 4th & Broadway. Princesa's got attitude to spare, namechecks The Beatles, declines to eat meat, and Gail "Sky" King lays down some seriously slinky techno grooves underneath. What could be simpler?

5) Peter Brown - *Crank it Up (Funk Town) (Radio Disco Mix)* This is disco. T.K. Disco! And it's very economical and minimal. It will fit in your pocket. Nice drum breaks and cool as ice synth sounds. To Be specific: B.P.M.-135, Drum break intro-1:28, Second drum break-1:28, Total time-8:00 SPIRALS INDICATE DRUM BREAKS

6) Espresso - *Ping Pong* Espresso make ping pong noises with their synthesizers. And they do it very well! On the other side of this Maxi Records single there are two mixes of the song Let's Get Down. One is the Bleep Mix. And it has lots of bleepy sounds in it! And the other mix is the Drum Mix. It has extra drums added to it! But Ping Pong is cooler. It doesn't ACTUALLY go "ping pong ping pong". It's more of a "boop, bloop, beep, bloop" sound. File this under: Table Tennis Techno.

7) Trance Trax - *Odd Flute (Original Mix)* This is one my fave singles. I bought this and another Trance Trax single at Sound of Market in Philly when they came out and I had no idea what they were. I took a chance. I don't have that other single anymore. That makes me sad. It was the one with the great "fuck...you!" chorus on it. This isn't like that sample-heavy Belgian newbeat stuff. This shit is grinding. I love the way they grind! You could put the vocals of the song "Grindin'" over "Odd Flute" and you would have the grindingest techno-rap song ever made! I always mean to look for more Trance Trax stuff, but then I forget. The U.K. remix on this single by one "scotty t.jones" isn't as hot as the original though. He smooths it out to much. I think he was on aceeeeed or something. If I were a dj I would play "Odd Flute" EVERY NITE! I really would.

Side B

1) Tone Band - *Germany Calling* Wacky German electro with lots of radio/shortwave sounds and a super-catchy chorus. I need everything they ever did. For Telex fans and the people who love them.

2) Jungle Wonz - *Jungle Mix* This is Marshall Jefferson after he popped something really grooooovy. The "Jungle Mix" is better than the more breathy vocal side "The Jungle". Plus "Jungle Mix" has lots more jungle noises. Which is always a bonus. It's a dreamy and druggy delight.

3) The Reel - *Percussion* I wasn't gonna put this on the tape cuz it's kinda cheesy and their are sax solos and horn sections, but there is just something about it that captivates. I think it's about half-way through when the italo-disco (by way of Germany) vibe devolves into some weird space invaders drum machine spiral until you kinda forget how the thing started. That and the female chorus of "I like to feel percussion/Per-cush-in tonight!" put it over the top enough to merit repeated listenings.

4) Maria Venchura - *My Heart Holds The Key (Charlie's Heart Attack Dub)* Long long before Omar Santana was making some of my fave death-techno mixes (Hardcore For The Headstrong series) he was a lil' latin rascal making cool freestyle singles for the kids. Omar's dub mix on this single is great, but the real winner is this one. It's another fucking jawdropper. Courtesy of Charlie "Dee" Diaz. He slices, dices, mixes, flips, rearranges, and disfigures this song until you are begging for mercy! The man's a fucking surgeon! It'll bring a tear to your eye.

5) Full Beat featuring Afroside & Jovanotti - *Beat Bop To Bicycle (Fleshy Mix)* Even the stoopid "Axel F" synth fart on this tune can't kill it. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when Afroside, Jovanetti, and Faber Cucchetti got together to discuss their plan for world domination via a weird house piano and horn heavy African/Italian answer record to "Pump Up The Volume".

6) The Mood - *Don't Stop* Don't be fooled by this single! Judging from the cover, The Mood want you to think that they are good friends with Duran Duran or Spandeau Ballet. New wave suits, ties, and haircuts. Meanwhile, "Don't Stop" is a total Moroder-inspired disco stomper! With new romantic vocals, but still..... I like it anyway.

7) P-Funk All Stars - *Hydraulic Pump Part III* As if the first two parts of this Hump Records single aren't weird enough, the third part is just fucking chaos. This song is literally the sound of mounds and mounds and mounds of cocaine. Sly Stone is on here doing something. Crying, maybe? Don't know if this is a proper end to a tape, but what the hell.

8) Telex - *Temporary Chicken (Dub Version)* This is the actual end. The only thing within reach that fit. But it's fitting. Lunacy, chickens, men in love with their shiny computers.