Tuesday, December 07, 2004

To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump.

Listening to Ray Dalen's *For Mature People*. Kind of a drearier, Canadian version of Tim Hardin. Well, not really. I'm being kind. But he is dreary. Recorded by Bob & Dan Lanois (!) in their basement (!!). 1974. I've heard worse. At least his songs are short. Just Ray and his trusty 6-string. Ontario winters can be cruel. Probably. "Standing On One Leg"would have to be the highlight as it is the only song with a nearly memorable title. I'm playing it because I'm doing a december spring cleaning of excess vinyl. I'm keeping Ray around for now. Others aren't so lucky.

Here is the dump/thrift/record store pile as of today:

Garland Jeffreys - Escape Artist (I have no room for Garland. Am i mean? Hell, I don't even really have room for Springsteen if it makes you feel any better. Or Willie DeVille. Or all those other rinky-dink organ-grinding poets of the, um, streets. Saw him on SNL (?) doing 96 Tears when I was a kid and thought it was pretty cool. I'll always have that memory at least. Probably the first time I ever heard 96 Tears, so maybe that's why I was impressed. Yes, Big Youth, Lou Reed, Linton Kwesi Johnson, The Brecker Brothers, David Johanson, Nona Hendryx, Larry Fast, AND Earl "Wire" Lindo are on this record. But all I hear are Roy Bittan and Bob Clearmountain.

Jamming With Edward (But it's a sperduperjamfest with Nicky Hopkins, Ry Cooder, Bill, Mick, and Charlie! Yeah, but I don't suffer from insomnia!)

Commander Cody & His Lost Planet Airmen - We've Got A Live One Here! (This record embarrasses me. Give me Dan Hicks anyday over this stuff. Hippies and truck drivers? Was that their audience? To me, it gives country music, old-tymey music, hippies, truck drivers, possibly the entire U.S. of A a bad name. They could play, I guess. But jeez do they ever lay that cornpone shit on thick.)

Brainwaves - Hommage a Disco (I almost considered keeping this for the cover alone. Mr. Brainwaves in mustache, top hat, tux, twinkling cane, and wine glass in hand teetering on a wooden skateboard precariously balanced atop a wooden dowel of some sort (i seem to remember these things from the 70's, but i don't know their proper name) on the steps of a brick ivy-covered building. The liner-notes are in French, it was recorded in Boston, and it's a one-man syth-disco show that would offend most elevators. You never know about these kinds of things. Coulda been brilliant, ya know?)

The Brother From Another Planet - OST ( I almost kept this too so that I could play it someday for someone and say: "Listen to this, it starts off with the actor Joe Morton RAPPING in a song called "Homeboy", and here is a Latin dance number, and here is the Lee Perry tune "Pussy-I-Cocky-I-Water", and here is an 80's dance-pop tune by Dee Dee Bridgewater, and here is a steel drum number, and here is some bad "Axel F"-style chase music, and here is a gospel choir! Isn't that a weird mix for a soundtrack?" Then I wondered: Who the fuck would want to hear all that shit? I don't even want to hear all that shit. And it's not like I have so many friends that I can afford to scare off the ones I do have. Hell, that night that I got drunk and started blasting Big & Rich might have lost me a few already. I haven't seen a couple of the people that were over that night since. Hmmmm......

Sammy Johns - S/T (Of "Chevy Van" fame. He might still be in that van. Has anyone checked?)

Grateful Dead - Warlox (Badly recorded boot of bad live dead. Need I say more?)

Barry Manilow - Greatest Hits (Reminds me of my sister. Which is nice. They were very big hits. Nobody needs them in their home. Nobody. The memory of them is enough. Even if you were feeling campy, you wouldn't need these songs in your house. Barry is beyond camp. He's not fun or funny enough to be camp. He could write a swell melody, there's no denying. )

Okay, thumbnail time. This is getting ridiculous:

Swami Satchidananda (Bad swami!)
Man or Astro-Man? - Experiment Zero (Zero fun!)
The Roots - Illadelph Halflife (Sorry, Philly! But one play in 8 years equals yer outta here! Almost saved it for the Ursula Rucker track and then I didn't.)
Beastie Boys - Alive 10-inch (Dead! Or just boring anyway. The unfunny Jam cover is just beyond throwaway.)
Carol Douglas - Midnight Love Affair (Bad disco!)
The Castilians - Best Of Tango (Bad tango!)
Johnnie Robinson - God Is My Everything (Bad gospel!)
Boz Scaggs - Middle Man ( Bad Boz! Boz is for when you can't find your Al Jarreau records. A SCENARIO THAT WILL NEVER COME TRUE IN ANYONE'S LIFETIME!!! Just imagine the elements that would have to come together for you to be in the mood for some Al Jarreau, not be able to find any and then end up settling for a Boz Scaggs record. THE MIND BOGGLES!)
Ezra Ngcukana - You Think You Know Me (I know enough, Ezra. I almost fell asleep typing out your name.)
Frank Zappa - Studio Tan (AHHHHHHHHHHH! Mommy, make the bad man stop. This is the music you make when you have a great LOVE for modern classical and the avant garde? I shudder to think what a great hatred would inspire.)
Larry Carlton - Alone/But Never Alone (Always alone, Larry. You should always be alone for making this swill. )

That't it for now. I have to hit the stacks again.

Now Playing: A record that they will have to pry from my cold dead hands: Miami Bass Wars II. Jivacious Pimpitraitors take heed: Don't even think about getting in the way of the Bass Battalion.


Blogger Nate P. said...

It's weird that the only thing I'm taking issue with here is the remark about Boz Scaggs, who I really know nothing of with the single and excellent exception of "Low Down" (note to self: one word? Two? Dammit). It will be the first track in my "great moments in mellowfied white people funk of the Ford-Carter era" compilation, to rub elbows with Climax Blues Band's "Couldn't Get It Right", the Bee Gees' "Jive Talkin'", Alan Parsons Project's "I Wouldn't Want to Be Like You", Stretch's "Why Did You Do It" and Steely Dan's "The Royal Scam". If the rest of Boz's (Boz'?) stuff is crapola, then fine, but at least spare me that one bit of entertainment, OK?

10:55 AM  
Blogger Scott Seward said...

I actually don't hate Boz. And his klassik rock drivetime hits are fine by me. But when he's boring...oof, it can be deadly.

4:30 PM  
Blogger Rob said...

OMG Skot Seward you haf a blog!! Why didn't you tell yer noize dood friendz? We hafta find out from Nate now?? Anyhow this is brilliant stuff my friend. Yet more proof that you are one of THEE finest essayists on all things flat, black and circular. 'Brother' OSt thing -- perfectly sums up the dilemmas encountered by those of the dusty-fingered persuasion.

I kinda like 'Jammin' With Edward'!! at least, I did the last time I listened to it about 8 years ago. I lent it, along with Bill's 'Monkey Grip', my copy of 'Metamorphosis' (!) .. and probably some other shit I can't even remember anymore, to this good high school buddy of mine Tom. 8 years on, and I've never asked for them back. I mean, can you imagine, going up to one of your lifelong friends that you haven't seen in ages and saying, "um, dude, can I have my copy of "Monkey Grip" back?" No way!! We're always too busy getting plastered to deal with record shit anyway.

1:45 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home